Spiderman vs Homelander

The Cinephile Hub
4 min readSep 15, 2022

There was this question Quora: Who would win in a fight between bloodlusted NWH Spider-Man or Homelander?

The answer to this question is pretty obvious and I bet you might have guessed it as well.

Homelander wins without a doubt.

Let’s look at some of the characteristics of MCU Spider-Man:

  • Strength
  • Flexibility
  • Quick
  • Excellent IQ

But none of these matter when going against Homelander. Spidey’s punches might tickle him. If Spider-Man throws a car or a trailer at Homelander, it still won’t be lethal.

Even Godspeed won’t help Spider-Man because all the odds are against him. He’s up against a maniac who now has no strings attached to him.

Hence, Homelander will find a way to bring him down.

Here’s a scenario where both these characters end up facing each other. Homelander ends up in the MCU while fighting a guy. MJ and Ned die while Homelander was fighting with that guy.

Spider-Man arrives but only to watch this horrific sight.

HL: (Looks at Spider-Man) Who are you? Why are you wearing red and blue costume with a Spider?

SM: You killed them.

Homelander looks around and sees the body of two; a girl and boy.

HL: Who? They?

SM: Yes. You…. (Goes near their bodies and breaks down)

HL: Look I’m sorry. I don’t know how something opened and I ended up here on this street. I swear I was in a warehouse. I told them to get out of the way.

Spider-Man keeps on crying looking at their bodies.

HL: Look why don’t you come with me to my world. I can do something for you. You look strong. (He puts his hand on Spider-Man’s shoulder)

Spider-Man comes to his senses, turns back and pings Homelander to a wall.

HL: (Smiles Awkwardly) Whoa…! Wow you’re strong.

Homelander takes Spider-Man’s arms off him easily. Spider-Man wonders how can he do that.

HL: Look. Come with me and join my team The Seven. I’ll make you my co-captain. We need people like you.

SM: You think you can kill my friends and buy me?

HL: What’s happened had happened. Can’t bring them back. They’re collateral. People die in fights.

Spider-Man loses his cool and hits Homelander in the face. Homelander tries to punch him, Spider-Man ducks and lands a few more blows.

When Spider-Man feels that nothing is happening, he shoots his web onto Homelander’s back and pings him on the floor.

He’s about to punch him hard while Homelander’s down on the floor. Just then Homelander kicks . Spider-Man is thrown on the wall of a house.

Before Spider-Man can recover Homelander goes to him, grabs him by his neck and take him 15 feet up while pinging to the wall of the same house.

HL: Look I’m trying to stop the killing here. I’ve a son who looks up to me. I don’t want to kill you but if you disrespect me one more time, you’re dead.

There’s rage and terror in his eyes. He’s not kidding.He brings Spider-Man down and Spidey gasps for air.

SM: Friday, activate instant kill.

The Iron Spider claws tickle Homelander. He’s now mad. His laser eyes lit up.

Before Spider-Man’s spider sense can he sees a red beam of light coming towards him. To his surprise, his suit is able to withstand the lasers.

He dodges than rolls over. Swings up and brings a billboard over Homelander. Homelander smashes the billboard and flies up as he sees Spider-Man fleeing. He fires his lasers onto his web and Spider-Man goes down managing to land on the ground barely.

Before he can dodge again, Homelander, flies down with speed, grab him and smashes him on the ground.

He sits up on him and hammers his punches on Spider-Man’s face. The nano tech starts to break but starts reforming. Homelander then lands a huge punch on his face which blows a huge chunk of nanotech.

Homelander sees his cue and lands one last punch to smash Spider-Man’s boyish face into pie of flesh and bones with blood sputtering over him.

Just after that, he’s back into his world. It was like a dream for him but the blood is still on his face.

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The Cinephile Hub

This is another platform for my blog www.thecinephilehub.com. I’m an avid movie watcher and I’ll post my thought about movies and TV shows here.